I Am Thankful I Have Learned to Get Out of My Own Way
One thing I learned a long time ago is that most often when I find a hurdle in the path ahead of me, it is of my own creation. Today I am thankful that I learned to get out of my own way.
That was a lesson that my father taught me when I was still a school girl. Of course, I didn’t have any idea what he was talking back then, but like so many things my father said his words have come back to me from time to time and the light bulb has gone on. Or, as Oprah would say, “It is an Ah! Ha! moment.”
It first occurred to me in my late teens when I learned meditation. I had put up all sorts of stumbling blocks that would prevent me from learning the art of meditation. First of all, I didn’t quite get the idea of meditation. I totally had it confused with prayer. Fourteen years in Catholic schools posed a hindrance to being able to get out of my body and into the energy field. It just didn’t seem right to believe that I could meld into the Oneness of the universe.
Now, I do suppose I didn’t word that as correctly as I should have. It wasn’t the Catholic school that posed the hindrance. It was my interpretation of the belief system. I had learned one way to “talk” to “God” and that was through prayer. Don’t start getting the hair up on your neck. I have nothing against prayer. I’m only saying that as children we are all taught a certain set of values and a set of life rules that more or less put us on a single path of life. And, I suppose most of us tend to believe exactly what we have been taught without question. I have quite often heard people say that it is wrong to question their religions.
Personally, I believe it is right to question everything until you find a religion, or a life path, or whatever until you find your comfort zone, the things you really believe. I questioned everything once I got to college. But, isn’t that universities are really for? To teach us to think for ourselves… and to question. Well, let me just say that if no one had ever questioned anything we would still think the earth was flat, that the sun revolved around the earth, gravity, as a concept, wouldn’t exist, and none of us would ever change churches.
In the third grade I learned about forgetting everything I had been taught about math so I could grasp the concept of “new math.” Well, all kids know that 1+1=2, except in “new math.” I learned about “1″ and “0″ and that everything was either a “1″ or a “0″ and it was weird. But, I was clinging to the math I had been taught, starting back when I held up the fingers on one hand and learned touch each finger as I counted, “one, two, three, four, five.” When you have a working system in place, it’s hard to let it go.
Then in the fifth grade when it was time to learn a few words in Spanish my mind spent 80% of the time looking at a word written in Spanish, translating that word to English, and then trying to say it in Spanish. That’s something most of us older people do when we try to learn a new language. We translate every word and phrase right back into English and then try to say it or learn it in the other language. I was lucky, I suppose. My father had friends, a married couple with five children, who were from Spain and living in our neighborhood. During one summer, I was more or less farmed out to them from daybreak to sunset… on the condition that they only spoke to me in Spanish. There was no translation. They just talked in Spanish and if I got the idea good… and if I didn’t, well I didn’t get to the table in time for lunch or I didn’t get to go to the stables with their kids.
In three months I learned to converse fairly well in Spanish… and never tried to translate one word. That was a good thing because some words and phrases just don’t translate. But, in the context of Spanish one learns the meaning… and the emotional feelings that come with the phrase.
We have all seen very young children who speak more than one language. Of course, they don’t translate every word. Instead, they learn the meanings in the language they are speaking. They get out of their own way.
Perhaps, the younger readers with children have noticed how enthusiastic their children are when presented with a new idea. They are like a sponge absorbing everything they see and hear. They learn so fast that it is almost tiring to us old folks. How do they do that? They have no preconceived notions of what ought to be. There is nothing in them that gets in their way.
This morning I was in a meditation class with a woman who was determined to analyze everything that was said and every position. Finally, she gave up because she had determined that what the instructor was saying ran counter to her religious views. Leaving the class was her choice.
But, if I may suggest that life is like a buffet. Our kids see broccoli and say, “I don’t like that.” Why? Why do they say that? Because “broccoli” may be new to them, different in appearance from anything they have put in their mouths before. Or, they may have a parent who doesn’t like broccoli. I’m not suggesting that everyone is going to fall in love with broccoli, but since there is nothing detrimental to one’s well being where broccoli is concerned, perhaps it should be tasted before a decision is made about it.
This morning there was a young lady in my meditation class who excused herself because the fundamentals of the art of meditation seem to have been developed by Hindus and Buddhists. Okay… can’t deny that. But, she believed that by meditating she was turning her back on her chosen religion. (I am saying “chosen religion” to give her the benefit of the doubt. Most of us don’t really choose our religious beliefs. We accept what our parents taught us or we choose a religious preference based on the church that is closest to where we live.) Anyway, this lady got in her own way. No one was trying to ask her to accept Buddhism or Hinduism. The instructor was only giving a bit of background on some of the fundamentals.
Sad to say, the lady will probably never experience the wonders of meditation. She got in her own way.
I’m far from perfect and I’m sure that in some respects I have such deeply embedded beliefs in some areas that I really don’t listen to other points of view. However, I do try to remind myself constantly that I must stay open to all information, so I can weigh its value for myself. Ignorance creates fear. Fear imprisons us in a little world that will choke the life from your body and soul.
It is sometimes quite hard to take in new information and not translate it into our present value systems. But, I suggest that if we are willing to stay open to the world of possibilities, we will remain as enthusiastic about life as our children and grandchildren. And, we will look at the world in wonderment and awe.
I bring this up today because one of the neighborhood kids who has become a fixture in my backyard asked if he could talk to me this afternoon. He wanted to know why “all you old folks are so happy”. Well, once I got past the “old folks” and began to talk to this young man, I realized that he was living in a box. His parents had taught him to live in the box. And, he had been taught not to listen to or open his mind to any idea that is inconsistent with the family belief system. Of course, he is a minor and I would do nothing to undermine his parents. But, I do suggest that we teach our children to keep an open mind, to learn to reason for themselves (age appropriately, of course). And, most of all as parents and grandparents, we must not get in the way of our children’s happiness or desire to learn.
The best way to do that is to learn to get out of our own way. If we don’t put hindrances and roadblocks in our paths, chances are our kids will learn that lesson from us. And, all of us old folks are happy because we are free to think for ourselves and pursue knowledge. And, we do… everyday! So, today and this weekend I am thankful that I know how to get out of my own way.
