I Am Thankful for Thanksgiving Dinners
Thanksgiving is one of those holidays when we should all be thankful for everything good that has come into our lives. Instead, I have already heard from a few friends who are already dreading thawing the turkey. I almost became depressed today having talked with three friends who already have their knickers in a twist and still have a week before handling the bird.
It is well worth remembering that Thanksgiving Day isn’t a day of angst! Everything about the day is wonderful… no work, football games for the guys, everyone at the table together… and hopefully lots of good ol’ catching up with family and friends.
Many years ago, when Thanksgiving was a day in hell for me, I gave up participating with the family turmoil. There was a really easy way out for me. My mother-in-law always had to have the holiday dinners at her house. And, trust me, it always turned into an uncomfortable meal that lasted longer than anyone wished. The kids sat quietly. The only time they spoke was when my mother-in-law or sister-in-law would question them about college plans or a professional life that was years into the future. The kids hated it! And, so did I.
Anyway, once the kids got their drivers’ privileges the day grew shorter… at least for them. I swear, they became masters of escape. Unfortunately for me I was stuck. Then, the kids went off to college and their holidays were divided between our side of the extended family and their mother’s family. I can only imagine the conversation they must have shared as they went from one family to the next. Poor kids!
By the time my stepsons had figured out ways to avoid the day altogether, I took a cue from them. I began giving the bulk of my Thanksgiving Day to the Community Kitchen. And, I found joy in the holiday. Of course, for the first couple of years I did feel a little guilty, and had plenty of motivation to do so. My mother-in-law would complain that my sister-in-law was left to cook the turkey all by herself and so on.
Times have changed… at least for now. Of course, my mother-in-law is always present, but she has mellowed. (Thank God!) And, my sister-in-law still comes into the house and does her thing and no one cares. The kids are married and while both are invited to every holiday, I also encourage them to create their own holiday rituals. Sometimes you just have to let go. Ordinarily, the kids make one holiday meal throughout the year. That’s enough for all of us. Don’t get me wrong. I love having the boys and their wives here. But, I certainly do not want to make them feel the guilt I grew up with when I missed a family holiday.
Thanksgiving has become a wonderful day around here. There is no big fuss. We usually have a turkey and a ham and all the “fixin’s” but without the fuss. Let’s face a little reality. Most diners don’t want to be the first to try out the new dish that was found in some obscure recipe book. So, we have good ol’ dressing, simple as it is. We prepare our sweet potatoes with raisins and top the yams with marshmallows. But, we don’t go all out with foods we wouldn’t eat on any other day.
We invite friends. Their kids don’t want to be tied to them on Thanksgiving any more than ours want to be tied to us. Everyone brings a covered dish or comes over early enough to prepare them in our kitchen. This year there will be lots of people for the big meal. And, we will use the fine China and sterling flatware. But, here’s a real hint. We use the “good stuff” every day. I have no idea why we were “saving” it. Isn’t that the silliest thing?
In fact, this year after dinner I’m sure the neighborhood kids will fill the house in search of desserts. They do that almost every evening anyway.
Well, this year Thanksgiving is going to be a day of thanks. We will be thankful for those who share our table, thankful for those who call us to wish us a happy holiday, and thankful for friends we enjoy. You see, you should really share Thanksgiving Day with those who make you thankful, not those you would rather avoid. Remember, it is just as much your Thanksgiving as anyone’s. So, enjoy it. Just enjoy it!
And, if someone breaks a piece of fine China, be thankful that it was a friend, not someone you really don’t like.
