So, maybe that sounds a little selfish… and maybe it is. But, today I am 60! That makes me officially an official senior citizen, or so I have been told by some of the neighbors.
Birthdays are kind of special whether we want to admit it or not. All of us hope for a little recognition that we have crossed another milestone on the timeline of life. I can’t really imagine what the significance of 60 is going to be for me, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out sometime this year.
I can remember turning 40. Everyone was handing me those little cards and gag gifts that were reminding me that in the eyes of the world I was over the hill. I suppose I could have gotten a little depressed over that notion, but I knew better. I just felt it. I had not even reached the top of the hill, much less started the downhill slide.
If anything, turning 40 was the best year I can remember in some ways. I realized I was an adult. Okay, so maybe I’m a little slow in some areas. But, while my friends who had turned forty had begun looking at their feet as they walked, I found myself looking people in the eye… and with a confidence that had eluded me previously. Forty was a very good year.
Then came the big 5-0. I thought that would be the year that I could see the downside of the hill. Nope. I was really coming into my own. Luckily, the things that used to bother me didn’t seem to matter any more. I stopped looking back over my shoulder at what I had not accomplished and began looking straight ahead toward the horizon. Past failures changed from let-downs to learning experiences. (I learned a lot in the first 50 years.)
And, incidentally, I realized something really unique. Instead of just saying that I didn’t care what other people thought, I really didn’t and don’t. Somehow I figured out that “other people” weren’t paying my bills so I wasn’t going to let them rent space in my head. I stopped apologizing for my hair that according to some is too long for my age. I stopped trying to hide my feet in public. After all if I am comfortable wearing sandals all year long, why should I care if someone else prefers boots? Oh, the list is nearly endless. But, let’s just say that the fifties brought me to a new level of purpose in my own life.
So, now I’m sitting squarely on 60. I’m not sure I have reached the top of the hill yet, but I’m looking for it. I feel as good as I did last year, ten years ago, and in fact, twenty years ago. I’m a lot happier today than I was years ago. Things don’t matter so much, because I have realized that I can’t take a single thing I own on this earth with me when I make the big transition. I’m a bit of a minimalist now, I suppose. And, I am feeling such a need to get into the shop out back and paint and paint and paint. But, there are so many other new things to try.
I don’t feel as if time is running out… although I hear some older folks talk about their days as if they were born with an expiration date. I guess I’m more like Budweiser. I only have a “born on” date. The reality is that we all know when this life began, but not even the wisest among us can reliably predict its end. Besides, we have now. And, that’s really all there is, isn’t it?
Well, it’s also my wedding anniversary. Today marks 15 years with my husband (this one). And, considering that I have now spent one-quarter of my life with this man, I have to say that it hasn’t always been easy, but I can say these years have been the best.
So, today I am just plain old thankful.
