Geez. When I wrote about “minding the gap” yesterday I had no idea anyone would read it. Actually, I wrote it as much as a reminder for myself as for anyone who would possibly read it. That’s the real advantage of a Gratitude Journal. It is for the writer. It helps us crystallize our thinking and often it spurs us to further action. I write online in hopes that someone may stumble across my ramblings and find something useful, or at least become inspired to begin keeping a journal of his own.
Well, yesterday I was sharing a bit of a conversation between my friend Anna and me. I have to tell you that she read my post early this morning (her time) and called me before the sun came up here.
“Thank goodness you were listening,” she said. I always listen to Anna. She is one of those people who can get me moving in such a subtle way that I often think the inspiration is one of my original ideas.
“Were you meaning for the end of our conversation to have such an impact?”
“It was my Christmas present.” I heard her laugh.
“Thank you.” And, yes, I was and am thankful for her reminding me to “mind the gap.” Now, the time has come to organize my thoughts and actions.
Like so many of us, I get off on a tangent and sometimes forget where I am headed or where I mean to go or what I mean to do. I get busy doing something and become absorbed in it. Sometimes I work with the kids, introducing them to literature. Other times I spend time doing the necessities — like taking care of family. That can become an all consuming job, whether looking after someone who is disabled or a young mom looking after her kids. Each of us can become so possessed by life that once we get on a path we become consumed by it. We forget who we are. We sacrifice our dreams to make the dreams of others come true. There is nothing wrong with working for the good of others as long as we do not transfer our lives to them.
Long story short, a few of the neighbors read my entry this morning or talked to the neighbor who visited yesterday. During our Friday afternoon book club meeting everyone wanted to discuss what she had wanted to do or wanted to be when she was growing up. I really wasn’t prepared for that. And, of course, everyone talked about how life had taken another turn. What is really important to note is that none of us have regrets about our lives. We just realize now that we still have the opportunity to fulfill some personal dreams.
By the way, the one neighbor who wanted to get her doctorate in some strange sounding type of math has decided to go back to the university. She is 62, retired and ready to live her dream. Don’t ask how she did it, her husband has agreed that they should move to North Carolina so both can go back to school. (Living in the Research Triangle isn’t all that bad.)
Here’s what happened. She went home and told her husband she wanted to get her doctorate — now. He was pleased that she had decided to go for it. In fact, he had often thought about asking her if she wanted to go back for the advanced degree, but she always seemed so involved in her life that he figured she had forgotten about that dream. So, the husband said it would be great for both of them. He will go back for another degree, too.
There are lots of other stories, some with fully committed people, others still on the drawing board. I almost feel as if I am lagging behind. But, the idea is simple. Each of us have let one dream or another slip through our fingers. We still think about it from time to time but most of us will never mention it or tell our spouse or our kids or anyone because we don’t want to sound “silly.” We do not want to sound as if we are dissatisfied. Let me tell you, wanting to fulfill a dream does not mean you have to be dissatisfied with life. It means your have not completed your mission in life. There is still more to be done.
That brings me to my son, who arrived for a few days. He is about half way through his residency and has already started considering a fellowship. But, here’s the thing about him. He is planning to spend several years as an orthopedic surgeon and possibly in research. I know this man so well that I know that he will actually change careers at least once. While he practices medicine he will be a good doctor, but when he stops enjoying it he will have the courage to move on. I admire that about him.
I also think about Niels who is doing an opera in Norway and Laury who decided to move to France when her hair was long enough to be put in a bun. (If I have stated it wrong in either case, let me know.) Lots of us are minding the gaps. That’s what keeps life moving forward.
I am so thankful for positive friends and neighbors, near and far, who keep me motivated and inspire me to live my life rather than watch it pass by.
