A friend called yesterday to issue her condolences on the loss of the blog materials and to make a suggestion. I’m always open to suggestions, so I invited her over for a cup of afternoon tea. It’s a habit I developed during my years in England. I find it a great time to entertain new ideas and pleasant conversation. Admittedly, I’m a little picky about any invitees when it comes to afternoon tea. I use the time only for positive input and comments. I trust this friend to understand that, so I invited her over.
I don’t want to go off on a tangent, but I suppose it’s as good a time as any. I meditate every morning, sometimes for longer periods than others, but I do set aside “me” time every morning. Old habits are hard to break. This is one I have worked to preserve. I meditate every night before I go to bed, another old habit. Why twice a day? Habit for one thing. But, the purpose behind the habit is what is important.
I meditate first thing in the mornings, before anyone else is awake, because I want to set the tone of my day. I want to clear the deck, so to speak. Too many people get up in the morning and pick up right where they left off the night before.
I have one acquaintance that I deliberately avoid on too many occasions. God, I hope she doesn’t read this! But, the truth is she is miserable in her marriage, yet the joy in her life is being miserable. She would have absolutely nothing to talk about if she discovered that there is life beyond arguing non-stop with a spouse and then telling everyone about it. Anyway, according to her narrative she and her husband argue right up to “lights out” at bedtime every night. When she gets up in the morning, they pick up where they left off until he is out the door headed to work. She spends the time between his departure and his return calling or visiting all her “friends” telling them about what an S.O.B. he is. Maybe this is a rather extreme example, but her existence has no high points and no low points. She is in a state of constant stress, one day blending into another and one tale of woe sounding like yesterday’s news.
Although my life isn’t in that state of constant high adrenaline rush and perpetual anger and frustration, we all have our daily ups and downs. How we handle those issues and how we respond to those ups and downs determines our attitude throughout the day. For me, I find it beneficial to get up in the mornings and decide what kind of day I am going to have, before anything or anyone has any input.
Just think of it! Let’s say, you could get up every morning and have a few minutes to yourself, quiet time before the hectic morning begins. You have time to decide how you are going to respond to the day. A few deep breaths and the universal vibration of “Om” and your day is set. You are in control.
At night, before bed, find your quiet place. During the day you have accumulated thoughts and responses to issues. Try as we might, every day isn’t going to be perfect. And, like it or not, most of us are going to hold onto those little things that generated a reaction. Doubt it? Well, think about this… You go to the market and the cashier is a little bit rude when you suggest that the scanner charged you more for the loaf of bread than the price on the display sign. As you are leaving the market, some nice old man stops his car to allow you to pull out first. Now… for the rest of the day, are you going to think about the kindness and the courtesy of the nice old man or the rudeness of that brash young cashier? I can guarantee that most of us will relay the story of the rude young upstart at the cashier station before we even remember or acknowledge the courtesy of the old man.
My quiet time at night is to let go of those thoughts that didn’t add any joy to my life and to embrace those that did. I like to go to bed after discarding the garbage of the day. It makes for a peaceful and restful sleep.
Now, back to the afternoon tea! I take a few minutes to prepare a cup of hot tea. And, yes, I do pour from a delicate porcelain teapot into a matching cup. Why? Because the little ritual of getting out the “good” stuff everyday and using it for myself makes me happy. We all know someone who is saving the “good” stuff for that special guest that never comes. But, that is another story on another day.
The 30 minutes of tea time are quiet. I am reminded by the ritual that I am as important as anyone in my life. I am reminded that I love myself. I have value. And, as I sit with all the little pretties around me, I relax, take a few deep breaths, and make any readjustments to my day.
All that out of the way, my friend visited for tea and asked why I don’t share a few tips on meditation and how to maintain inner peace as I shared my points of gratitude every day. I responded that anyone who reads anything I write about gratitude already knows the secrets. Ah, she thinks not… or at least she thinks the readers may need a few reminders from time to time.
Chances are I will begin to share the things that bring me inner peace and how I deal with life’s ups and downs, as well as sharing those things for which I have gratitude.
Today, I am thankful for the suggestion from a dear friend.
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