I’m not really going to step up onto the soapbox today, but I thought about it. 

Yesterday we celebrated Niels’ birthday.  That seemed to go without a hitch.  Apparently, some of my memories were a bit offensive to some.  Okay, so I confessed — not for the first time — to having smoked pot, engaged in sex before and between marriages, having been divorced.  Oh, my God!  According to a couple of emails I am going straight to hell.  In fact, I was told that I am on the “fast track.”  

One email informed me that I had offended him or her by “admitting” that I enjoyed a few of my past adventures.  Another was offended that I took marriage so lightly as to divorce to follow my “selfish” dreams.  Oh, please.  I never said I was a saint and quite frankly the path to sainthood — at least to me — sounds a bit drab. 

So, to those people who were obviously looking for a reason to become offended by something yesterday, let me just say that I am more than happy to oblige.  I am reminded of the little thing that my dad used to say about those not so perfect days we all experience.  If it were not for the bad days, we may not recognize the good ones.  So, to those who were offended I do hope I can be the measuring stick at the bottom of your morality barrel from which all good things can be measured.

To that end, I will not apologize for “setting the wrong example” as one email suggested.    I kind of have this philosophy that is shared by my husband.  We are not much on apologies, although we have extended one or another from time to time.  Apologies usually are the result of not having thought ahead.  Sometimes we do make blunders that we did not think through.  But, for the most part — as adults — we know when we are screwing up and when we will need to say “I’m sorry.”

My husband and I have taken the approach, especially with on another, that before we do something that is questionable we consider if we would have to say “I’m sorry” to the other should he or she find out.  If we anticipate an apology on the horizon we most often decide against the action or activity.  At our house it isn’t easier to apologize than to get permission.  In fact, we look at it as a matter of respect.  If we cannot stand behind our actions — or if we think we may need to say “I’m sorry” later — most often we use good judgment on the front end and opt out of the action.  So, sorry to disappoint — but no apologies for those things I remember with a smile and heart full of gratitude.

So, today I am thankful for all those people in the world who have a different mindset.  In truth, I am quite grateful.  Can you imagine how boring life would be if we all liked the exact same thing?  Lee Iacocca once said that if two people agreed on everything one of them would be useless.  So, to that end I am thankful for diversity of thought, action, deed and mindset.

“I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped.”

Tagged as: diversity