I Am Thankful for Those Who Go Before Me on the Journey

Well, maybe that’s a rather vague way to title this article.  But, here’s the real thing!

Today is Niels’ birthday.  Of course, it is a big thing to him.  And, it’s kind of a big thing to me.  First of all, Niels is the original founder of International Overalls Day (Nov. 20).

Secondly, Niels is a special kind of person.  He lives in Norway and is a professor who wears bibs.  Can’t imagine why he uses “bibprofessor” as his online moniker!

Niels is 61 today.  Now, for those of you who may not be in the sixth decade of life, let me explain that it is a lot better than it looked when I was twenty or thirty or forty.  Of course, by the time I had reached fifty I had somewhat resigned myself to the fact that sixty wasn’t too far off.

But, here’s the thing.  When I was a kid and heard someone say that my grandmother was sixty-something I can remember looking at her like I would look at King Tut.  She was ancient.  But, of course she had blue hair that had been baked or fried into ringlets that resembled her miniature poodle, except he was white.  As I said my grandmother’s hair was blue.

By the time I was a teenager my mother was in her fifties and that was looking pretty old from my vantage point.  Well, my mother didn’t look old.  She acted old.  She was all up in a huff about the idea of kids at the university smoking pot and the idea of having sex before marriage — well, I went to Catholic school as a kid.

By the time I was in my twenties my mother was tapping sixty on the shoulder.  She still didn’t look old and somehow her mind had eased up a bit on all the “don’t do this or that” stuff.  That sure put my mind at ease.  I discovered that my mom (and my dad) had enjoyed a bit of life early on.  Of course, that explained how she managed to catch me every time I strayed from the straight and narrow.  But, by the time she was well into her sixties I learned that she really had meant it when she had told me that “you will never try anything I haven’t done.”  (Of course, I had taken that as a challenge and of course, she caught me every time.)

Now, when I reached thirty life as I had known it was over.  I was married.  We had a house and more of a mortgage.  I had to be at work everyday — and on time.  I was an adult.  It was damned depressing.  I found myself sitting around a card table on Friday nights with my husband and other couples playing cards.  I could remember watching my parents do that when I was a child.  It was “YUK! That’s no fun!” when I was a kid and to be honest it wasn’t much more than that when I was thirty.  What happened to the idea of going out and having fun? 

Even worse, some of my friends had children.  Now, folks, I like children as long as they can go home when we are tired of one another.  But, back in the day I was dreaming of traveling around the world and my friends were talking about diapers and cleaning supplies for removing spots.  I suppose I divorced the lifestyle, the friends, the mortgage, and everything it represented when I told my ex-husband that our time together was up.  And, thank goodness MLK had already coined the phrase “Free at last!  Free at last!”  I knew what he meant when I walked out of divorce court.

By the time I was thirty-one I knew how to select the exact snake for soup in Singapore, was not afraid to take my top off on a Mediterranean beach, and had absolutely no problem with not understanding what the handsome Italian man was saying to me in the morning.  By the time I was thirty-two I was living in England and had gotten over the fact that English gentlemen wear black socks with sandals.  I bought my first 1952 MG-TD and was as happy as a lark driving on the “wrong side of the road.”  The decade of being in the thirties wasn’t so bad after all.

Forty was marvelous!  Friends were giving me those “over the hill” cups and flying balloons to let everyone know I was ready to head downhill.  They could not have been more wrong.  The forties were better than the thirties.  I had a better job and more money.  I enjoyed life to the fullest nine months of every year.  I worked hard and I played hard.  During the summer months I took holiday and went to Liberia to work with AIDS patients and starving children. 

By the time fifty rolled around I was happy, truly happy.  I had not done everything I wanted to do or been every place I want to go, but I had made one hell of a dent in the bucket list.  Money meant less to me than it had earlier in life.  Maybe it was because I had saved a little or maybe it was because I had learned a lot.  And, I also knew that unlike so many of my friends who were planning what they would do when they retired I had already started living my plan.

So, between fifty and sixty maybe I settled down a little — doesn’t mean I have stopped living.  When I turned sixty, or maybe a few years before, I realized how blessed — if you want to use that word — I have been.  As one dear friend and I often say to one another, “If we don’t get Alzheimer’s disease, we will be sitting on the front porch in our old age talking about all the things we did and all the places we have been rather than wishing we had.”  Of course, if I get Alzheimer’s and forget everything someone somewhere will be remembering bits and pieces of the good times of my life — hopefully with a smile.

That brings me to Niels.  He is 61 today.  He’s in his overalls to be sure.  And, Niels, next month when I turn 61 I will be wearing my overalls and hopefully a birthday cake hat on my head.  For all the younger people who may read this, let me just say that getting older may slow the steps a bit, but it doesn’t break the spirit or the heart.  If anything, life gets better with each and every year.  But, don’t wait until you get old to live.  Life doesn’t wait and there is a lot more to do than you think.  Get started today.  Live, love, laugh….

And, as my dad would say:

Sing as if no one is listening

Dance as if no one is watching.

Love as if you have never been hurt.

Live as if there is no tomorrow.

 

 

Tagged as: Niels' Birthday, thoughts on aging